Meow Miao
by Goblin Cat KC
Summary: yaoi; 1x2, 3x4x5; my idea of how 3x4x5 comes about; involves pilots turning into kitties; COMPLETE


****

Meow Miao

Warnings: humor, shonen ai, plot holes chewed out by plot bunnies and maybe a little OOC 

Setting: After the war

Disclaimers: Gundam Wing characters belong to Mixx Entertainment, Koichi Tokita, the SOTSU Agency, Sunrise, Kodansha and anyone I may have forgotten, not to me. I make no money off of this. 

Sitting at the kitchen table, Duo re-read the label on the white bottle for what had to be the hundredth time. "_Neko-pills. Usage: To discover hidden feelings of love from others. Directions: Dissolve one pill in one cup of water and drink. Warning: Minor inconveniences may occur._"

"Man, that doesn't get any more reassuring no matter how many times I read it," he said to himself. "What the hell does it mean by 'minor inconveniences'?" Still, pills offering the chance to find out if Heero had any feelings for him (before just blurting it out to a proven psychotic soldier) had to be worth any risk. He took a glass out of the cabinet and filled it with water, then cautiously opened the bottle as if he was afraid something might pop out and bite him. He tipped out one crimson pill and dropped it in, watching it slowly fizzle and dissolve. After a few minutes of fizzling, though, he became impatient and started looking around. "If I'm gonna take this, I might as well grab something to eat, too." Burying himself in the fridge, he began pulling out ingredients for a huge sandwich.

"Eating _again_, Maxwell?"

Duo rolled his eyes and didn't even turn around. "Not my fault your metabolism isn't as fast as mine."

Wufei, coming in from his early morning workout, only wanted his sports bottle out of the fridge, but as he watched Duo pull out cheese, lettuce, pickles, ham, turkey, mayonnaise and so on, he decided the American was going to be there for awhile. The water on the table would have to do.

"Anyway, it's not like I can eat Chinese and not get hungry again--" Duo turned and his jaw fell open. The glass was still there but it was now empty. Stunned into silence, he watched Wufei leave the kitchen and disappear into another room. "Oh boy."

A moment later, Duo shrugged. "Ah well. What's the worst that could happen?" He prepared another glass and started putting his sandwich together.

*****

"Hey, what happened to all the food?" Quatre asked as he gazed into the fridge. "I thought for sure we were stocked up."

Heero didn't bother glancing up from his laptop. "Duo."

"Ohhh..." Quatre said. "Well, at least he left us some eggs and things, but I think tonight we'll have to order out again." 

"Any messages from Sally?" Trowa asked, taking another sip of Quatre's coffee. He winced at how hot and strong it was, but after his little one had gotten him hooked on the stuff, none of the other coffees seemed to taste as good as whatever Quatre was drinking.

"Nothing," Heero said.

"I'm surprised things have been so peaceful lately," Quatre said. "It almost feels like we're on vacation."

"Working for the Preventers _is_ a vacation," Trowa said. "No major wars, plenty of resources, and real support for a change."

"And paychecks!" Duo said as he bounced into the room. "I'm hungry, what's to eat?"

Quatre, who would have been astounded at Duo's appetite if he didn't already know the boy, shook his head. "Nothing that'll satisfy you, I'm afraid."

Duo glanced into the mostly empty fridge and sighed. "Bummer. Well, it's a good excuse for pizza! Any suggestions?" he asked, grabbing the phone and hitting autodial. He called the pizza place so often he didn't need to actually press the buttons anymore.

"Supreme," Trowa said.

"Pineapple and bacon," Quatre said.

"Meatlovers," Heero said.

"All of the above," Duo said and grinned. "With a pepperoni and a cheese!"

Wufei walked into the room, yawning. For some reason he was feeling sleepier than usual. "If we're lucky, we might get a slice before Maxwell can eat all of it."

"Hey!" Duo said, but he had to break off griping so he could make the order. 

Filling up a cup of coffee from the pot, Wufei bolted it down and hoped the sudden caffeine intake would jolt him back awake. It was strange, as soon as he had sit down by the window in a warm sunbeam, he'd had the greatest urge to just stretch out on the floor and drift off. 

"Hmm...needs milk," he mumbled as he looked at the empty coffee cup. "Which is odd since I hate milk."

Meanwhile, Duo absent-mindedly scratched the bottom of his spine, where he was certain he could feel a strange pressure against his skin. Still, he couldn't feel anything like a bump or rash, so it probably was nothing to worry about.

*****

It was later that afternoon when they heard Wufei's scream from the bathroom, followed by a loud "Maxwell!" Seconds later, Wufei was running down the stairs with his sword in hand.

Duo, whose instincts had adapted to give him decent chances for survival, leaped up from his perch on the couch and ran for the front door.

"What did you do now?" Quatre said, sitting on Trowa's lap as they read the paper together.

"I don't know," Duo said, struggling to unlock the door's many bolts. "At least, I don't think I know."

"There you are!" Wufei yelled, spotting Duo. "Prepare to meet your namesake, Shinigami!"

Duo, giving up on the door, ran back into the living room and hid behind Heero, who was still typing away. "What did I do this time?" he cried. "I haven't pulled anything on you, I swear!"

"Only you would come up with a way to make something this atrocious happen!"

When he said that, they all looked up at him. And promptly froze in shock.

Two black, furry, kitty ears had popped up on the top of his head, while a long dark tail swished angrily behind him.

"How...in space...?" Quatre asked.

"See, it has to be Maxwell!" Wufei cried. "This is humiliating! Only he would do something this awful!"

Duo's mind, meanwhile, was somewhere else. _Kitty ears and a tail...neko pills...minor inconveniences..._His eyes widened. _And we both drank it...so that means..._He couldn't think any further, since he chose that moment to pass out and collapse.

*****

"Duo, wake up."

Moaning from a cramp in his rear, Duo reluctantly looked up at Heero's stern face. "Where...am I?" he asked.

"Your bed," Heero said. "You fainted, so I carried you up here."

"Fainted? I didn't faint."

Heero raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

Duo shook his head, but the dizziness made him stop. "No, girls faint. I blacked out."

Heero smirked. "Of course."

Choosing to ignore the sarcasm in Heero's usually cold voice, Duo tried to sit up but found himself roughly pushed back down. Heero's hand didn't leave Duo's chest, simply holding him there. Taking the hint, Duo just lay still without a struggle.

"How long was I out?"

"About twenty-three hours," Heero said.

Duo stared at him. "Twenty...three?"

Heero nodded once. "You needed the rest."

"Huh? Why?" Duo asked.

Instead of saying anything, Heero reached one hand under the covers out of Duo's sight and grabbed something. Duo gasped at the strange new sensation, then watched in horror as Heero pulled out Duo's nice new bushy brown tail.

"And you have the ears to go with it," Heero said.

Duo raised one hand to his head and felt the odd fuzzy objects on the top of his head. "Oh no..."

"Would these have anything to do with it?" came a voice from the door.

They both looked up as Trowa came in, a white bottle in one hand that he flipped casually to Heero. "I've heard about these things. They're extremely illegal, Duo."

"Neko-pills?" Heero asked, reading the label. "Duo...of all the dumb ideas...wait, why would Wufei take these?"

They both glared at the braided kitty-boy, who let out a very tiny and frightened "meow" as he pulled the blankets over his nose. "I didn't mean to, honest! He just thought it was water and drank it down before I could stop him!"

"And you didn't tell him," Heero said.

"Well, I didn't expect anything like this..."

Trowa shook his head. "These pills do this to everyone. They claim to reveal hidden desires of other people, and instead, this happens."

Duo cast his eyes down to the blanket. "Then...they don't even do that?"

"No, they're unreliable. They just end up as a glorified love-charm."

Trowa went on about the duration of the effects, but Duo wasn't listening. If they were unreliable, then that meant his transformation meant nothing. It would have been bearable if it had meant Heero loved him back, but now...he'd never felt so humiliated in all his life.

*****

Scritching at his ears and doing his best to ignore the tail swishing behind him, Wufei came into the kitchen, intending to grab a quick midnight snack. Instead, he found Duo sitting on the floor, his own tail twitching, quietly crying as he worked through a large tub of ice cream.

"Maxwell?"

Duo only lowered his eyes further. "Hi, Wu'. Um, sorry 'bout all this."

Wufei shrugged. He really didn't feel like swatting the boy around, especially while he was sobbing his eyes out. "Trowa told me how it happened. He showed me the bottle of those pills, too." He opened the fridge and looked inside. "I'm surprised you were willing to trust those things."

Duo sniffled and ate another spoonful of chocolate ice cream. "I...just wanted to see if...if Heero..." his voice cracked and he left the sentence unfinished.

"Then...don't the pill's effects mean he does?" Wufei asked. "I thought that's what the transformation meant."

Duo shook his head. "Guess Trowa didn't tell you everything. The pills make us change, no matter what. Being around someone who loves you...doesn't matter."

Wufei held still for a moment as his shoulders drooped. _Then neither Quatre...nor Trowa..._Then he grabbed a spoon and sat down next to Duo. "Quit hogging the ice cream, Maxwell."

Duo held it out for Wufei, smiling sadly. "Trowa or Quatre?" he asked.

Wufei dug the spoon in. "Both."

Duo sighed. "I'm sorry, Wu'. If I'd known it would hurt this much...I'd rather have not known."

Wufei shrugged one shoulder as if he didn't care. "No, it is simply too much for us to hope for. I should never have even thought of coming between those two...that they could ever want me..."

Duo wiped his cheek with the back of one sleeve. "And Heero's too cold to love anyone..."

Both of them crying, they continued to empty out the ice cream tub.

*****

The next morning, as Heero, Quatre and Trowa woke up, they all heard something strange coming from downstairs. Guns in hand, they crept through the hall, following the noise back to the kitchen door. Heero nodded once, then kicked in the door and went to one knee, gun up, while Trowa and Quatre came behind and covered him.

Instead of enemies, though, they spotted an upturned carton of ice on the floor, appearing to move on its own. Heero reached forward, grabbed the top, and lifted it up, revealing a little kitten that looked exactly like Wufei, complete with ponytail and miniature blue tanktop and white pants. Wufei, startled by the sudden motion, fell back on its rear and gave a frightened "miao."

"Oh, he's so cute!" Quatre said, holstering his gun and swooping Wufei up into his hands, cradling him in his hands. The black and white cat stared into his huge blue eyes, then nestled comfortably against his chest and fell asleep.

*a-choo!*

Heero heard the kittenish sneeze and opened the refrigerator to see a tiny kitten dressed in a mini version of Duo's black outfit, with a brown braid and fur. The kitten, seeing a chance to escape the cold box he'd been trapped in for so long, leaped out and landed on Heero's tanktop, digging his claws in and hanging there.

"I guess the transformation finished off overnight," Quatre said. "I wonder if they even think like kitties right now."

Not moving as Duo climbed up his chest and onto his shoulder, Heero nodded. "They probably do. Otherwise he wouldn't have gotten trapped in the refrigerator."

"Or under the ice cream," Quatre saidd, running his fingers over Wufei's hair. "I wonder why they were both down here anyway."

"You said this would only last a few days, right?" Heero asked Trowa.

The tall pilot nodded. "The change back doesn't take as long. They should return to normal in a couple of days."

"Meow!" Duo nuzzled his nose against Heero's cheek, then nearly tumbled off of his shoulder as Heero turned and went into the living room. He jumped onto Heero's head for a better vantage point and stared excitedly around the gigantic living room and all the places he could play, until Heero tilted his head and dumped him unceremoniously on the couch. Rubbing his sore nose as he got back on his four feet, he jumped onto the coffee table and walked over to Heero's laptop, curious to see what was going on. When Heero wouldn't turn the screen in his direction, Duo jumped onto the keyboard and tried to play catch with Heero's fingers.

"Out of the way," Heero said.

Duo looked up into Heero's eyes and sat down on the keys. "Meow."

Heero gripped the scruff of Duo's neck and put him down on the floor, where Duo immediately started pouncing on his shoelaces.

Meanwhile, Quatre took Wufei back up to the room he shared with Trowa, pulled a pillow into the sunbeam streaming in through the window, and gently placed Wufei on it. 

"He does make a cute kitten, doesn't he?" Trowa whispered from the doorway.

Quatre nodded with a broad grin. "I hope he doesn't mind this."

"I'm sure he's fine."

From downstairs came a loud yelp of pain. "Ow! Duo, quit biting my ankle. Let go!"

Wufei's eyes opened at the abrupt noise, and he sat up and stretched. "Miao."

"If you need me, I'll be in the garage," Trowa said, leaving the room.

Wufei watched him leave, then crawled onto Quatre's lap and put his paws on the pink shirt, rubbing his head against his face. Quatre laughed in delight and hugged him close. "Are you hungry, Wufei? Would you like some cream?" After an enthusiastic "miao," Quatre picked Wufei up and took him back to the kitchen, unwrapping a small container and serving all of it to the little black kitten.

Back in the living room, Heero tried to type and keep Duo from thinking his ankle was a cat toy.

*****

Late that afternoon, another problem came up.

"Where are they going to sleep?" Quatre asked, dangling a feather in front of Wufei, who batted at it wildly. "I mean, they can't sleep alone, they might do something silly and hurt themselves."

"They'll just have to sleep with us," Heero said. "We can leash them down to something if necessary."

Trowa agreed and retired with his lover to their bedroom, watching him place Wufei on his pillow on his side of the bed. "But if he sleeps there, where will you sleep?"

Quatre smiled and began to undress. "Why, next to you, of course."

Wufei watched them disrobe and climb into bed together, Quatre's head resting on Trowa's chest as the taller pilot wrapped his arms around Quatre. Wufei sat up and stared at the empty space around him, then back at the pair drowsing together. With a sigh, Wufei lay back down and waited. It didn't take long for them to fall asleep, and as soon as they did, he climbed up over Quatre's shoulder and lay down between them on their arms. Only then did he fall asleep.

In the other room, Heero took his shoelace and made a makeshift collar and leash for Duo, tying him to the corner of the nightstand. He gave the kitten a pillow to sleep on, then turned off the lights and went to bed.

Duo started to cry. He couldn't help it, he was all alone in the dark on the floor where anything could get him, and it scared him. At first Heero tried to ignore it, but after five minutes went by and Duo showed no signs of stopping, he leaned over and put his hand on Duo's back. Intending only to reassure him, he instead started to pet him. Once he had Duo purring, the kitten fell asleep, and Heero joined him, with one arm hanging off of the bed.

A few minutes later, however, Duo woke back up and decided he'd rather be up there with the boy next to him. He put his paws on either side of the shoelace and dug his claws into it as he pushed it down around his head and slid it off. Once he was free, he jumped up next to Heero and snuggled down on his shoulder, nuzzling his neck with his nose. Satisfied that he was now safe, he fell asleep purring.

*****

Heero mumbled against the furry mass up against his face. He sat up and found the kitten asleep on his back, legs up in the air and actually snoring. Unable to stop himself, he smiled at the tiny cat and gently pet his stomach, making Duo purr through his snoring. Duo's eyes opened and he rolled over, struggling over the huge folds in the blanket to lay down on Heero's lap.

"Are you hungry?" Heero asked. "Want something to eat?"

"Meow!" Duo nodded, apparently understanding the word "eat."

"Stupid question," Heero said, and took Duo down to the kitchen.

In the other room, Trowa woke up first to find Wufei between him and Quatre. He began to softly stroke Wufei's head, rousing the kitten who stared into his eyes. "Good morning, little Wufei. Crawled between us while we were sleeping, hmm?"

Wufei purred and ducked his head, burrowing further into Quatre's embrace.

"Did you like sleeping here?" Trowa asked. "Would you like sleeping here again?"

Wufei tilted his head, unable to understand most of the words.

Trowa sighed and tickled beneath Wufei's chin, making the kitten purr even louder. "If Quatre wasn't here, Wufei...I think I love you as much as I love him...but if I even tried to ask, you would probably leave...and he would never look at me the same again..."

Quatre moaned and shifted a little in his sleep, warning both of them that he was about to wake up. Trowa leaned over and pressed his lips on Quatre's, waking him. "Good morning."

"Mmm...hi, Trowa...hey, where'd Wufei go?" Quatre asked, looking at the empty pillow.

"Right here," Trowa said, and Wufei nudged up to Quatre.

"Oh, there you are!" Quatre giggled, rumpling Wufei's ears. "Silly kitty, I guess you wanted some company." He paused and his smile faded a little. "Do you always get lonely at night, Wufei?"

"Miao?"

"Maybe...it's because he's so much smaller," Trowa said.

"Maybe..." Quatre whispered. _But I'd like for it to be something else..._

"Duo, stop trying to eat my hair," came a voice from the kitchen. "Just drink the damn milk!"

"Meow!"

Trowa and Quatre exchanged a knowing smile. "I suppose we'd better go save Duo."

*****

"MRROWWWW!"

"Duo--!"

At the panicked kitty scream and Heero's startled cry, Quatre looked into the living room to see Duo's little body cradled in Heero's large hands, whimpering as the Japanese boy whispered to him.

"I'm sorry, Duo, I didn't mean to step on your tail. You can't just sneak up on me, though. I can't hear where you are. You must be more careful."

"Meow."

Quatre grinned and ducked out of the room and back outside, where he was watching as Wufei chased after butterflies. The kitten seemed to have plenty of energy and performed numerous flips and leaps as he charged his targets. The blonde Arabian sat down on the grass and kept an eye on Wufei until the kitten became tired and returned, curiously sniffing at the flowers next to Quatre.

"Oh, you're just so cute right now!" the blonde smiled, gently grabbing Wufei and holding him up in the air. "Who knew you were just a shy, quiet little kitten beneath that proud shell of yours?"

"Miao!" Wufei complained at the sudden whirl upwards, and he wriggled out of Quatre's hands, landing in his lap. He stood up on his hind legs and popped Quatre's cheek with his paws, but his claws were not extended. It was just to let the boy know he didn't like that, since he had no other way to say it.

Surprised by the light puff to his cheek, Quatre laughed again. "Okay, I'm sorry!" He leaned down and gave Wufei a kiss on the nose. "I won't do that again." He turned Wufei onto his back and playfully wrestled with him, then grabbed one of the flowers and used it as a cat toy, watching Wufei bite and scratch at the dangling thing, tearing it to shreds.

Leaning against the corner of the house, safely out of sight in the shadows, Trowa watched his lover play with Wufei. _I wonder..._

*****

The next morning, Heero expected to wake up with Duo cuddled up next to his head again. Instead, he found Duo, back to his original size, snuggled against his side. He just stared at the boy, quietly examining his features, the way his hair spilled over his face when it was unbound. The way his clothing conformed to his body shape. He lay his hand on Duo's side, feeling it rise and fall with each breath.

"Why didn't I ever notice how beautiful you are?" he asked.

Duo shifted a little and pushed himself closer to Heero's body. "Mmm...love you..."

Heero blinked. "Duo?"

Waking up fully, Duo peered up at Heero and smiled. "I love you..."

"Duo..."

After a moment, Duo realized that he could feel Heero's arms around his entire body. _I'm normal again..._his eyes widened. "Oh...I said that out loud, didn't I?"

Heero nodded.

Duo closed his eyes. "I'm sorry...I thought I was just meowing again..."

"Was every meow an 'I love you'?" Heero asked.

Duo nodded once.

"Then you took that pill to see if I loved you?"

Duo nodded again. 

"Duo, I love you, too."

It was said the way he said everything, without any hint of emotion in his voice, but the fact that he'd said it at all made it true. The American pilot looked up at him, for a moment unable to believe it. Then he smiled. "Meow." 

*****

Duo crunched through his cereal as Heero sat behind him and redid his braid. "So Wufei's still a kitty, huh? Why's that?"

Trowa looked into his coffee cup. Quatre, however, just shrugged.

"I have no idea. He also started to change faster than you did, too."

Heero looked up from the waterfall of hair he had yet to braid and stared at Trowa. "It has a logical explanation, doesn't it Trowa?"

Trowa sighed and put his coffee down. On the table, Wufei walked over and sniffed at the black liquid. "It...would happen if two people really loved him, since Duo's change was only influence by Heero. Or if someone's love for him was truly strong."

"But that just leaves you and Quatre," Duo said with his usual tact. He smiled. "Okay, 'fess up. Which of you really loves Wufei?"

"I do," they both blurted out at the same time. They stared at each other in surprise.

"But I really love you--" Quatre started.

"That doesn't mean I love you any less--" Trowa insisted.

The scene pulled a chuckle from Heero. "And you haven't said anything before now?"

"Wufei won't want us," Quatre said.

"He was married once," Trowa said. "He would probably be disgusted and leave."

"And then we'd never see him," Quatre said and sniffled.

Duo tried to hold it in, but he couldn't. Loud laughter erupted out of him, startling the kitten on the table. Wufei jumped onto Duo's lap and bit his hand. Hard.

"Yowch!" Duo cried, trying to pry the kitten from his hand. He held it out to Quatre, who gingerly pulled Wufei back off and into his lap.

"Serves you right," Quatre said. "Why would that be so funny?"

"Why do you think me and Wufei were in the kitchen that night, huh?" Duo laughed. "Drowning our sorrows in chocolate ice cream?"

Everyone looked at him.

"I told him Trowa'd said those neko-pills were unreliable and didn't prove anything. He'd thought for sure you loved him, and then to be told you didn't...the guy was actually sharing my ice cream!" Duo suddenly felt his head jerked back by his braid, forcing him to stop laughing. "Ow!"

Trowa and Quatre exchanged a look and nodded to each other.

*****

Wufei wasn't quite sure where he was when he woke up. He felt warm and secure and safe, but his head still hurt. He groaned a little as he shifted around, and his eyes fluttered open.

"Don't try to sit up," came a gentle voice. "It looks like you have a slight fever."

"Being a kitten for so long started to affect you more than Duo," came another voice.

Wufei looked up into large blue eyes as something cold was pressed to his forehead. "Q-Quatre?" he mumbled.

Quatre nodded. "Trowa's right here, too. When you didn't wake up this morning, we figured something was wrong, but I think you're just a bit under the weather for now."

"Wake up...?" Wufei said. Then he recognized where he was. In their bed, between the two of them. Scratch that, between the barely-clothed two of them.

Noticing his panic, Trowa lay one hand on the Chinese boy's chest while the other softly ran through his hair. "Shh...it's all right. You're welcome here."

"No." Wufei shook his head, struggling against Trowa's hand. "Just intruding..."

Quatre lay his fingers over Wufei's lips. "No, you aren't. We love you, Wufei...both of us. And Duo told us how _you_ feel..."

"But...I thought..." Wufei whispered.

"We know," Trowa nodded. "But trust us. You'll never need to drown your sorrows in chocolate ice cream again."

That got the intended smile out of Wufei. "You...are not doing this out of pity?"

Trowa chuckled. "I have never felt pity for you. Only love. And I'm doing this out of love."

Quatre smiled and lay a light kiss on Wufei's lips. "And to make sure the boy we love isn't lonely ever again."

Trowa lay back down behind Wufei, using his own body heat to keep him warm, and Quatre stretched out in front of him. Wrapped up in two loving embraces, Wufei smiled and fell back asleep. And started to purr.

The End


End file.
